


Waking Up To You

by Wenk_Wonk



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Comfort, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Mentions of blood and gore, Nightmares
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-06-07
Packaged: 2021-03-04 04:34:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,290
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24587677
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wenk_Wonk/pseuds/Wenk_Wonk
Summary: Jaemin has always had an active imagination. His dreams were an amendment to that. But when his creative mind took a dark turn and started plaguing his nights with horrific scenarios, Jaemin didn't know what to do. Finding no other reasonable option, he decides to suck it up and act like nothing’s wrong.No one seemed to notice the difference in his demeanor nor the budding darkness around his eyes. No one but Jeno.
Relationships: Lee Jeno/Na Jaemin
Comments: 1
Kudos: 47





	Waking Up To You

**Author's Note:**

> HELLO BEFORE YOU READ! 
> 
> TW: Mentions of death, blood, gore, and torture. 
> 
> Please keep those in mind before reading this story!

_ The man smiles wickedly as he gleefully tells the fear-stricken few. “You all survived. Congratulations.”  _

_ Jaemin stares at the man in horror as he cheerfully skips outside, completely unbothered as he passed by the number of lifeless bodies that had littered the floor. The young boy couldn’t stop the tears that had fallen in his face if he wanted to.  _

_ He hasn’t known the others for very long, in fact, they were strangers, but he had been stuck with them since the beginning. Their big group was whittled down to only two in the end.  _

_ ‘They were a family,’ Jaemin had thought as he saw the hollowed-out version of the eight-year-old child. ‘His mom died for him to live.’ _

_ Jaemin hadn’t realized when his knees crumpled to the ground, too busy with his own heart-wrenching sobs to care about the negative impact on his limbs. He doesn’t know how long he has been curled up crying because all too soon, he finds himself in the school hallway.  _

_ A sense of dread pools at the pit of his stomach. Surrounding him were the zombified versions of his fallen comrades.  _

_ ‘He’s here,’ Jaemin realizes. Filled with trauma and fear from his last encounter with the crazy mad man, he couldn’t do anything but cower away. He kept his eyes down as he approached the people waiting to greet the newcomers.  _

_ “How many bodies?” the guy had asked.  _

_ Without missing a beat Jaemin obediently answers, “Ten.”  _

_ A harsh hand reached towards his chapped lips and rubbed some pink shade of lipstick. The hand was merciless as the guy smudged the colour without regard for his skin and his lips, allowing the substance to reach Jaemin’s cheeks. _

_ Once he was deemed done, Jaemin was allowed to go inside the empty classroom. As he was about to enter, a bunch of the other people he was with was rudely escorted out. They were protesting, trying to get away from the vice grip on their bodies, but Jaemin refused to meet their eyes. _

_ There was only one other person in the room. Without hesitation, he walked over to the other and settled beside him. When he finally realizes who he was sitting with, an immense amount of guilt and terror washed over him. He was ashamed of his complicity. _

_ Because here he was, alive, sitting beside the other survivor while the other people were about to be hauled off for a new kind of game.  _

Jaemin’s eyes fluttered open. He wasn’t startled nor was he scared. In fact, if someone was to look at him from a third-person perspective, he looked to have woken up normally. He almost  _ had _ woken up normally. 

The anxious pounding of his heart was a painful reminder of the images in his head. Trying to ignore his feeling in his chest, Jaemin rolls over and checks the time. It was 6 am, way too early for anyone to be up, but sleep no longer welcomes him. Having nothing else to do. Jaemin lies unmoving on his bed, trying to reflect on his dream a bit more.

_ I didn’t know anyone, _ Jaemin states.  _ Everyone was a stranger.  _

He grabs his phone again and opens up his safari, quickly typing out ‘What does it mean if you dream of a serial killer?’

_ You feel like someone is manipulating you,  _ Jaemin skims over the first paragraph. The further he reads, he reaches another possibility.  _ You feel an immense amount of stress. _

He pauses, ruminating for a bit as he racks his brain for different reasons to the information given to him. Sure, he has some work that he may or may not have been dreading, and yeah, maybe the societal issues were getting to him, but he’s fine. Really, he was.

_ It’s not like I’m directly affected. I’m fine financially so there’s no place for my own hurt.  _

Jaemin sighs. It was way too early for this kind of thinking. He still felt the remnants of his fear pound within his veins. It was ridiculous really. It has been a good few minutes since he had woken up but the feeling remained fresh in his brain. 

Instinctively, he turns over his bed and stares at the figure across him. Whenever things get too much for him, Jaemin finds that consistencies help ground him. Sometimes, he looks at the stars, counts his numbers, but the best method he has figured out is looking at Jeno.

Jeno has been his friend since they were in third grade and Jaemin had demanded that they’d be friends. It wasn’t his fault. He had always been a brash, abrasive child so upon seeing a beautiful boy with a power ranger figure was enough to spur the boy into action.

If Jaemin was a firecracker, Jeno was a crackling fire that people make for warmth. The other boy had simply stared at him in surprise before the most breathtaking smile overtook his face and he agreed. 

Jaemin should’ve known then. He should’ve known that it was inevitable for him to fall for the boy. With Jeno’s personality, it was only a matter of time for it to happen really. In fact, it was impressive how long Jaemin held unto his denial. (“2 years,” he had proudly boasted then, only for Renjun to scoff and reply, “Why are you saying that like it’s a good thing? It’s pathetic.”)

After a couple more years of mindless pining, stupid ideas, and even some dramatic situations, Jaemin and Jeno finally,  _ finally  _ Renjun likes emphasizing, got together on their second year of college. 

Nothing changed much since they got together in all honesty.

They had already been living together and enjoyed each other’s presence, sometimes bothering other people with their “affectionate nature”, so really, the only thing that changed was that they could kiss each other.

“Nana?”

Jeno’s low, raspy voice broke him from his trance.  _ How long had I been thinking? _

“Yes, Nono?”

“What are you doing awake?”

Jaemin bit down a smile, watching all too fondly as Jeno whines and grabs his shirt, closing the distance that had grown overnight. When the older boy sighs contently as he nuzzles closely on his chest, Jaemin surrenders to the warmth and gathered his love in his arms.

“You haven’t answered me,” Jeno’s muffled voice spoke up. 

“It’s nothing, love,” Jaemin softly laughs, carding his fingers through the brown locks of his partner. Jeno immediately melted at the action. “You moved away sometime during the night, I missed you.”

Jeno chuckles quietly. “Well I’m here now, so go back to sleep.”

“Yes, love,” Jaemin agrees, already feeling his heart calming down. Jeno has always been a very prevalent reminder to him that no matter what, everything will be okay eventually. Nightmares are nothing compared to this reality.

-

“Nana hurry up! You’re so slow!”

Jaemin laughs obnoxiously, purposely slowing down his movements to the frustration of the dramatic boy calling for him. Donghyuck could wait. He needed a bit more time to school his fatigue and plaster on a smile.

The same blurred, sadistic killer kept on reappearing in his dreams. Each night was a new kind of game with different kinds of people. It practically became routine at this point for him to wake up with an anxious heart and a tired sigh, each time reaching to hold his partner closely. 

The only upside he could think of was that at least none of his loved ones were the ones being killed. 

“Nana,” Donghyuck whines once again.

“I get it, Hyuckie,” Jaemin complains. “Mark how do you deal with him?”

“Shut up, Nana. He loves me.”

“Unfortunately,” Mark chimed in, giggling happily when Donghyuck huffs at him in faux annoyance. 

A hand intertwines with his own. Jaemin didn’t have to look away to know who it was, the touch was all too familiar for it to be anyone else. 

It was a friend night. Ever since their small gang had met in high school and had to say goodbye to Mark when he left for university, they had started a tradition to meet up at least once a month - if possible, they would do it once a week, but people get busy. 

It’s been a while since they have met up all together, each of them too busy with their own responsibilities and academics to properly meet up, so his tiredness be damned. He had missed them after all.

“Where we going to this time?” Renjun asked.

“It’s Lele’s turn to pick!” Jisung exclaims, excitedly shaking the Chinese boy by his arm. 

“It is definitely not Lele’s turn. He had it two months ago! It’s Nana’s turn,” Renjun immediately protests, sending a scathing glare that normally would’ve scared other strangers. 

“Ge, you just don’t want to go to the trampoline park!” Chenle reacts, exaggeratedly pouting as he does so. 

“With good reason! I had to go to the hospital for the last time!”

“Come on guys, we're not going to be able to go anywhere at this rate,” Mark appeases. “And Renjun is right. It’s Jaemin’s turn to pick now.”

Before Jisung and Chenle could retort, Donghyuck silences them with a glare and states, “Don’t even bother fighting. You know Mark’s annoyingly fair about these things.”

The two boys slump their shoulders, sulking for a while until an idea seems to strike them. One by one, they turn to stare at Jaemin, each of them sporting a cheshire smile. 

“Hyung,” Jisung sweetly calls out. 

_ These little shits _ , Jaemin thinks.  _ Using Jisung to get to me? Oho, low blow. _

“You can’t use Jaemin’s weakness to your advantage, you idiots!” Renjun screams, lightly smacking the two boys in the head. 

“But we’re not! If we were going to do that, we would’ve got Jeno hyung with us!” Chenle defends. 

Jaemin feels his face flush at the blunt statement while Jeno giggles from beside him, obviously enjoying himself. In an act of pettiness, Jaemin rips his hand away from their hold and weakly mumbles, “You guys are wrong.”

“Sweetie, I love you, but they’re right,” Donghyuck easily shuts down and turns to the smiling boy. “So please,  _ please _ , don’t suggest the trampoline park. I can’t stand a grumbly Injun again.”

“Don’t worry. I just wanted to watch this new movie,” Jeno reassures.

“What? What makes you so sure I’m gonna agree to that?” Jaemin bites back, crossing his arms in retaliation. Jeno merely laughs and pinches his cheeks. “Aw, come on Nana. It’s a cheesy romcom!”

“Ugh, not a romcom please,” Renjun groans. 

“Just because my brother is stupid and dense, doesn’t mean you should be pessimistic, ge,” Chenle teases, earning him a chokehold from his friend. 

“You shut up-”

“Lele has a point though,” Donghyuck agrees, unflinching at the scathing glare sent his way. “It’s not his fault that your Lucas problems made you all cynical.”

“Fucking ass-”

“Okay! It’s decided then! For the sake of torturing our little friend, we’re watching the romcom Jeno said!” Jaemin intercepts. He grins wolfishly at the betrayed expression in Renjun’s face and clings unto his partner’s arm. “You won this round so you better take responsibility and lead us the way.”

Jeno gleefully laughs and leans in closer, “Of course, of course. Let’s go then you small baby.”

Renjun scoffs from afar and snips, “I’m already gonna suffer through the movie can you guys at least tone it down?”

“They’re in love, they can’t hear you,” Donghyuck answers. 

“Shut up, you and Mark are just as bad as them.”

“Lalalala, I can’t hear you, I'm in love,” Donghyuck antagonizes, covering his ears childishly as he mocks the other. Mark, on the other hand, flushes at the admission and mumbles, “I love you too.”

Seeing as he has no other option, Renjun groans and drapes himself over Chenle and pitifully laments, “The woes of being single.”

Chenle spares a glance at the youngest boy and quietly whispers to himself, “Yeah. Sucks.”

-

The movie was good. At least, that’s what Donghyuck, Chenle, and even Renjun agreed on. In all honesty, Jaemin didn’t know what to think. He had been struggling against the clutches of slumber the moment the lights dimmed. It was cool, the chair was comfortable and most of all, he had Jeno right beside him keeping him warm.

“What do you think, Nana?” Donghyuck asks once the other boys (Chenle, Mark, and Jisung) excuse themselves to the bathroom. 

“Uh, it was adorable,” Jaemin replies unsurely. Thankfully, just as Donghyuck narrowed his eyes in suspicion and opened his mouth to interrogate any further, Jeno steps in and says, “See? Aren’t you guys happy I suggested this for tonight?”

“I mean, it’s a chiller night compared to the others,” Renjun offhandedly answers, before eventually dropping the volume of his voice and adding, “But I guess these chill nights are as good.”

Jaemin rolls his eyes. “You’re such a tsundere oh my god.”

“Don’t stereotype me into an anime cliche.”

“I will if you stop being like one.”

“Before you guys go at it, can we decide on where we go for dinner?” Jeno intervenes. 

“Hotpot!” Donghyuck immediately suggests. The three other boys pause and stare at him incredulously. “What?!”

“Am I hearing it right? Did you just suggest hotpot?” Jaemin repeats.

“Yeah? So?”

“Hyuck, you never suggest hotpot,” Jeno tries to explain. 

“Yeah! I usually have to argue with you for you to agree!” Renjun adds, still staring at him with wide eyes.

Donghyuck flushes and stutters out defensively, “A-And? I-I just started craving it.”

“So Mark was craving it?” Renjun asks, easily rendering the other boy into a blushing mess. 

“Shut up,” was all Donghyuck could come up as a defense. Before the other three boys could tease him any further however, Mark, Chenle, and Jisung came back. The cornered boy quickly clings unto their entrance and lies, “Renjun beat me in rock, paper scissors so we’re getting hotpot tonight.”

Just as Renjun opens his mouth to expose the other, Mark lights up considerably and cheers, “Great! I’ve been craving hotpot the other day but me and Donghyuck haven’t had the time.”

“Markiepoo is too busy with overachieving,” Donghyuck jokes. “Soon, he’ll be one step closer to being a doctor.”

“Hyuck, I told you, I’m just studying up for grad school,” Mark tries to downplay. “But if you want to talk about overachieving, shall we talk about you, Mr. President?”

Donghyuck reddens, swatting the other’s arm playfully. The clear pride and love that the two shared were enough for the other three boys to remain silent. They were going to allow Donghyuck this one moment of bliss. (But you bet your ass they will be exposing him on a later date.)

“As cute as this all is, can we get hotpot already? I want to take pictures and rub it in Sicheng ge’s face,” Chenle whines, effectively catching everyone’s attention. 

“Why do you always have some sort of vendetta against my cousin?” Renjun bemoans. “He forgets to invite you  _ one time _ and now you guys are still keeping this a thing.”

“Please, Renjun ge, stop acting like you’re not as petty as I am.”

“Fair.”

“Alright, we’re not going to go anywhere with this. Let’s go already. I’ve been meaning to try this new place out,” Mark concludes. 

“Is that the one near the milk tea place?” Renjun asks. 

“What? Come on! The one near the arcade is better!” Chenle complains. 

As the three, subsequently dragging along Donghyuck and Jisung, begin debating about the best hotpot place within the mall, Jaemin blinks rapidly. He had been too caught up with the excitement of being with his friends that he had almost forgotten his own fatigue if it weren’t for the dryness in his eyes.

Now that the conversation seemed to stray into something he wasn’t expected to join in, the lack of sleep that he had been trying to put away came crashing down on him like a rude splash of water. 

“You okay, love?” Jeno whispers. Jaemin merely smiles at him tiredly and answers, “I’m fine, babe. Don’t worry I’m just a bit low on energy right now.”

“We can go back home if you want.”

“And miss this chaos? No thank you,” Jaemin quickly replies, plastering on a bright smile in hopes of convincing the other that he was alright. Based on his lover’s shifty gaze, it was clear that it hadn’t worked, but thankfully, Jeno didn’t push him.

Dinner was just as Jaemin had expected. Donghyuck and Renjun bickered back and forth a lot, halting only at the prospect of food or complaining about their life in general. Chenle, Jisung, and Mark would chime in, adding their own endeavors and struggles while Jaemin would coddle the young ones with affection, earning a fond chuckle from Jeno. 

_ This,  _ Jaemin thinks.  _ This is his reality. Nightmares be damned.  _

It was with a slightly heavy heart that Jaemin bid his friends goodbye. Some of them were nearing graduation already. Though logically he knows that they were always going to be friends and would find time to be together, there was something bittersweet about the moment that made Jaemin want to hold onto a bit longer. 

“You ready to go home?” 

Jaemin glances to his side and sees Jeno already staring at him. He feels his mouth tug upward. “I’ll never get tired of that.”

“Of what?”

“Our home.”

He knows he’s being cheesy, but he was feeling too soft at the moment so screw his pride. Seeing Jeno’s scarlet cheeks and shy smile was so worth letting loose those cringey words. 

“Oh my god, shut up. Let’s just go, I’m tired,” Jeno fumbles to say. 

“Aww is my baby tired?” Jaemin coos, pinching the other’s cheeks in response. Jeno rolls his eyes and grumbles under his breath, pouting in the way that made Jaemin want to kiss him silly. So that’s what he did. 

With one quick swoop, the younger boy pecks Jeno’s lips, pulling away with a wide smile at the surprised expression on the other’s face. 

“Hurry up slowpoke! I thought you were tired!”

“Na Jaemin, come back here!”

-

_ Jaemin felt the rope binding his arms to his back dig into his skin. The setting had become hauntingly familiar. _

_ The same faceless man stood before him and even without seeing the expression, he  _ **_knows_ ** _ that the man was smiling at him wickedly. _

_ “I’m getting too tired of our little games.” _

_ A jolt of fear coursed through his veins. What did that mean? What’s different now? _

_ To Jaemin’s horror, the man pulled at his hair and forced him to turn around. Behind a one-way glass, was all of his friends. It was a familiar scene. The whole group was milling around in the hotpot restaurant and having fun. The only difference was, he wasn’t there. _

_ And the man was looking at them with a wicked gleam. _

_ “I think I have found the best pawns for our game.” _

_ “No,” Jaemin had whispered brokenly. “No, please- Not them. Torture me, do anything to me. Just not them.” _

_ The man pulled a face littered with fake sympathy and croons, “Aw, but there’s no fun in that, baby. It’s much more delightful to watch you cry and scream as I take my sweet time with each of them,” the man happily looks over to his friends and not so subtly eyes a specific boy.  _

_ “Especially that one.” _

_ Jaemin follows the man’s gaze and ends up looking at Jeno’s beautiful smile. The blood drains from his face as the man continues, “I can’t wait to get to that one.” _

_ He could only focus on the feeling of his heart pounding as the scene around him shifts. When he finally realizes where he was transported to, dread swirled around the pit of his stomach. _

_ They were in his playground.  _

_ The game started out in the same routine. Immediately as they entered the place, the man announced his presence in his usual way - a murder.  _

_ He watches wide-eyed as the man, without an ounce of hesitation, slices Jisung’s throat. His friends screamed in shock and terror as their youngest struggled to grasp for air. Frantic hands reached towards the dying boy in desperate attempts to save him from permanent slumber, but it was no use. Slowly, Jisung’s chest had stopped rising and his eyes froze, capturing the look of fright and regret. _

_ Jaemin hadn’t even realized the tears that had fallen on his face until the man looks at him straight in the eye and grins sadistically.  _

_ This was his kryptonite, and the man was going to take advantage of that.  _

_ The man had outdone himself this time with his games. Instead of killing a bunch of them in one round, Jaemin had to watch his friends fight against each other, no matter how hard they try to work together, and die a gruesome death one by one.  _

_ He had screamed, clawed, and even tried to break the glass with his body but he was useless. Nothing he did worked, and he could only witness his beloved friends’ face turn lifeless, each of them stuck in a moment of weakness and fear. It wasn’t until the end did Jaemin realize what the man had planned for the “grand finale”. _

_ Jeno.  _

_ It was Jeno who was left as a survivor.  _

_ “Don’t,” Jaemin had whispered, before screaming with a much louder, much more vulnerable voice. “Don’t hurt him! Please! Stop doing this!” _

_ Shocked at the sudden sound, the man glared at him through the window while Jeno looked around in confusion. As if getting an idea, the man’s scowl turned into a gleeful smile as he mockingly addressed Jeno, “You know what? I think your last dying moments would be spent best with your loved one.” _

_ Before Jeno could ask, the glass separating Jaemin from the playground sunk down and he was levitated towards the man until he was dangling in front of his love. _

_ “J-Jeno, please. Run away. Go,” Jaemin immediately pleaded. _

_ “Wh-what? Nana, no I won’t go. Y-You’re here, I won’t leave you.” _

_ The scene seemed to amuse the man, because he happily clapped his hands together and cheered, “Ohohoho, how lovely! Young love is always so sweet.” _

_ Just as his sentence ended, somewhere to their right, a curtain fell, revealing the presence of a torture chamber.  _

_ “But how far would you go for young love?” the man asked, silently offering Jeno a deal - a deal that the other had accepted without hesitation. _

_ “Until the end.” _

_ Jaemin screamed, thrashing against the ropes and the levitation in hopes of breaking free and stopping the boy from doing something so incredibly stupid and life-threatening, but it all fell on to deaf ears.  _

_ Once Jeno was in the chamber, gushes of blood poured and painted his porcelain skin with a crimson reminder of what he had chosen. A heart-wrenching sob wracked Jaemin’s body, as he stared, not being able to look away, at the physical mutilation of the man that he loves. _

_ Desperately, he looks at the giddy man beside him and cries, “Stop it, please. I’ll do anything. Take me instead. Torture me instead!” _

_ The man only smiled softly at him and placed a disgusting hand on his cheek, gently stroking him in his own twisted sense of comfort. His eyes wandered around Jaemin’s face, soaking in the brokenness of the boy. _

_ “Oh honey. You’ve already given everything to me.”  _

-

“Nana!” 

Jaemin wakes up, startled by the shout, and immediately shoots up to a seated position. “What? What happened? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine, nothing happened,” Jeno dismisses, still looking at him with concern. “Are  _ you _ okay? You were crying in your sleep.”

His hand flies towards his face and feels the familiar wetness staining his cheeks. “Oh.”

The dream comes rushing back to him. The fear in his heart was still palpable and if he wasn’t as stubborn as he was, he probably would’ve broken down and cried into Jeno’s willing arms. But he was a Leo, and Leos never admitted their weakness.

“Was just a bad dream, let’s go back to sleep,” he waves off, settling back into his bed and pointedly ignoring the warmth nearing him. 

“I’m worried, love,” Jeno whispers, encircling his arms around Jaemin’s waist and pulling him closer until his chest was flushed against the other’s back. “You haven’t been sleeping well lately.”

“You knew?” 

“It’s hard not to.”

Jaemin sighs and squirms around the hold until he is facing the other. The nightmares have been haunting him for a few weeks now and he might as well talk about it to the man he trusts most in the world.

“I’ve,” he trails off, fiddling with the collar of Jeno’s hoodie as he stalls. “Been having nightmares.”

Jeno hums, the vibrations comfortably sending tingles throughout Jaemin’s body. “May I know what it’s about?”

“ ‘s nothing big. Just a serial killer murdering everyone in my dreams,” he mumbles, feeling Jeno freeze in surprise. There was silence for a while, but Jaemin didn’t mind, simply basking in the other’s embrace and the fact that his dream was just that - a dream.

“Have you been having it frequently?” Jeno eventually asks. 

Jaemin nods meekly, “But it’s okay. It’s just a dream.”

“You were crying today,” the older states, pouting as he does so. He tightens his hold around the frightened boy. “Love, I don’t think it’s that simple.”

“This is the first time I cried from it,” Jaemin defends weakly. 

Jeno understands the attempt at distraction and allows him this chance, so he indulges, “What’s different about this time?”

Jaemin hesitates for a while, knowing that Jeno wouldn’t let the topic go that easily but at the same time, he feels a bit stupid for letting a silly little dream affect him that much when he has no reason to be affected. Eventually, the understanding in his lover’s eyes was enough for him to decide.

“It...this time it was you guys.”

“There’s more to it than that,” Jeno says after a few moments.  _ Curse Jeno and his ability to read me _ .

“Well, yeah. I- uh I couldn’t do anything but watch you guys die off one by one - each, uh, each death was plagued in my mind,” Jaemin glosses over, unconsciously gripping the fabric he was holding tighter as he recounts, “You were the last survivor.”

“What happened then?” Jeno softly asks, gently caressing the wrinkle in the younger’s forehead out.

“The, uh, the guy wanted to hurt me further so he...he made a deal with you,” Jaemin chokes out.

“What was the deal?”

“You,” he gasps. “You go to the torture chamber until your death for...for my freedom.”

“Oh sweetie,” Jeno coos, bringing his hand down to wipe away the tears that had begun gathering on the other’s eyes. 

“I-I tried to stop. I yelled for you to stop but you wouldn’t listen! I was bounded, but you- you were such a fucking stubborn head that you didn’t even look back at me as I screamed,” Jaemin rambles, voice going frantic as if he was recalling a memory. “I had to watch you get more and more unrecognizable while not being able to do anything.”

It was only when his voice began cracking did he realize just how emotional he had become. Before he could apologize for his actions, Jeno guided his face towards the crook of the older’s neck. The sweet, vanilla scent attacking his senses and reminding him of his reality.

“I’m sorry,” Jeno had whispered. “I’m sorry you had to see that.”

The sincerity in the other’s tone was enough for Jaemin to end up a bawling mess. The fear and guilt that had been crowding his thoughts came crashing down on him and he held onto the other tightly, trying to tell himself that Jeno was alive - his Jeno was here with him and wasn’t going anywhere. 

When he had finally calmed down, he pulled away and looked at the warmth in his partner’s eyes, allowing himself to drown in the abyss. “Promise me you won’t do something stupid like that - that you’re not going anywhere.”

The smile that Jeno gives him was warm and affectionate. “I promise I won’t go anywhere. I’ll be by your side for as long as you allow me to. But I can’t promise that I won’t do anything stupid.”

“Nana, I would give you my life and all my reincarnations if it meant that you’d live happily.”

“That’s where you’re wrong,” Jaemin mutters, eyes roaming across the other’s face in hopes of committing this moment to memory. “Any life without you would leave me unhappy.”

“You’re cheesy,” Jeno quietly giggles, Jaemin’s own lips twitched in fondness as he hears the sound.

“Says Mr. I-Will-Die-For-You.”

“That’s fair, that’s fair,” Jeno concedes. The comfortable silence that follows is welcomed and was spent lovingly observing each other. Jaemin would’ve fallen asleep like this, the warmth all too encompassing that he was confident that his nightmares wouldn’t return, but alas, Jeno was too in love and too worried for his well-being to let it go.

“About your dreams...isn’t there a meaning to dreams usually?”

“Yeah. I searched about it the first time it happened.”

“What does it mean?”

“That’s the thing,” Jaemin complains. “It says that it’s because I’m stressed or I feel manipulated but I’m literally not doing much?”

“Maybe it’s because of what’s going on with the world right now?” Jeno suggests. 

“See, I thought of that too, but I don’t think that’s it? I mean, sure it bothers me and makes me feel bad but then again, I’m not directly affected by the things happening so literally I shouldn’t be that stressed about it.”

“Nana,” Jeno firmly calls out. “You have the biggest heart I know.”

“Remember when we were kids? Ever since you found out about poverty, you would save every penny you have from your allowance and ask your mom to give it because you believed that you had to do all you can to help.”

“I don’t think that-”

“How about when we were teenagers? You kept on signing up as a volunteer for different charities that you had such a hard time balancing your schedule because everything was booked.”

“Nono, what are you trying to say?”

Jeno sighs. “My point is, Nana, you care a lot. You care for people no matter what, and with what’s going on right now, it makes sense for you to feel bothered by it.”

“But,” Jaemin trails off in defense. What Jeno said held some truth. Ever since he was a child, Jaemin had always found himself crying too often and caring too much. He had been ridiculed for his softness his whole life so he had spent the majority of his life acting tough and sarcastic, but the fact remained. 

He still was affected by everything no matter what face he puts on.

“My sweet baby,” Jeno says. “It’s okay for you to care. I only wish you cared for yourself a fraction of the care you extend others.”

“I care for myself well enough,” Jaemin retaliates.

“I know you do,” Jeno mumbles. “But I’ll care for you just as much as I love you.”

Jaemin scoffs, not being able to fight the smile that spreads his face. “And how much is this exactly?”

Jeno grins at him cheesily and states, “Just as much as you love me.”

“That’s an awful lot then.”

“Well, I care for you an awful lot.”

Jaemin is sure he’s blushing. Nonetheless, he places a kiss on the corner of Jeno’s mouth and murmurs, “I love you so much.”

Jeno smiles, retaliating the action with a kiss to the younger’s forehead. “I love you just as much.”

  
  


**Author's Note:**

> hello this is just a rant fic haha. with everything going on with the world, I've been having too many nightmares and I...I just needed to write cause I was afraid. 
> 
> thank you for reading and I hope you guys and your loved ones are safe, healthy and loved <3


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